Category Archives: Craigslist assholes

Craigslist a-hole of the week: you choose

Not sure which of these is more insulting.

“Come intern with us!” has a kind of jet-set ’60s ring to it, and uses one of the classic Craigslist asshole memes — the impressive, big-money client list. Mysteriously, they just can’t afford to pay someone to “freshen up our look,” so they’re looking for “a new batch of interns.” I’m sure you’d get into the right spirit every day as you bring the creative director his coffee. BTW, how many of the “old batch of interns” got jobs with your firm?

“Incredible Opportunity” is just kind of pathetic and lame, as if someone said — well, let’s place an ad and see if anyone is stupid enough to answer.

Graphic Design Internship with Established New York City Entertainment


Date: 2010-02-14, 11:40AM EST
Reply to: job-zb6yk-1600336236@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Are you interested in pursuing a career in the graphic design, but don’t have experience? Don’t know where to turn to gain real industry experience to build your portfolio?Come intern with us!

It is a great way to introduce your improve and showcase your skills network while gaining crucial experience to further your career.

We are a rapidly expanding entertainment group with office and studio space in Chelsea, Flatiron, and Tribeca that works with well-known clients and brands, like Kanye West, Mos Def, SummerStage, John Legend, Ciara, Chanel Iman, Damon Dash, MTV, BET, Heineken, Bacardi, Miramax, and America’s Next Top Model.

Currently, we are looking for a new batch of interns to help us freshen up our company’s graphics.

You must be reliable, motivated, out-going, and detail oriented with the ability to be a team player or a self-starter. Computer skills and people skills are a must. This is a non-paid internship with the option for college credit, but for the right person could turn into a great paying part-time freelance gig.

If interested please email us All of the following:
• Full Name
• Email Address
• Phone Number
• Best time to contact you
• Your weekly availability
• A brief introduction to you, what you’re currently involved with, like school… personal projects, and what will you bring to us
• Links to your MySpace & Facebook accounts giving us additional insight into you
• Links to any websites with your work.

Please note… emails missing information will not be received. So, if you don’t have a link or an example of your work communicate this, don’t assume we know.

Thanks! We look forward to hearing from you!

  • This is an internship job
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1600336236

Intern to Creative Director (Greenwich Village)


Date: 2010-02-14, 12:25PM EST
Reply to: amelia@urbanzen.com [Errors when replying to ads?]

 

Incredible opportunity to work with a creative director and get some hands-on training in a diverse range of fields. The ideal candidate will be extremely organized, detail oriented, proactive, graceful under pressure, a team player, and willing to take on a variety of responsibilities, including admin and calendar work, in order to help the executive and the creative department in a fast-paced environment.

A background in not-for-profit, as well as an interest in well-being issues, children issues, yoga, graphic design, and/or art and photography, is helpful. We are looking for someone who is excited about learning, can rise to challenges, and has a great attitude.

When applying for the internship, please indicate “Intern to Creative Director” in the subject line, and include a cover letter and resume.

Requirements
– highly organized
– efficient
– able to multitask
– team player and terrific people skills
– strong writing and research skills
– great phone manners
– comfortable with Quark or Indesign
– comfortable with Photoshop
– tech savvy

  • Compensation: unpaid
  • This is at a non-profit organization.
  • This is an internship job
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

PostingID: 1600393735

New concept? It’s a bloody ice cream shop, a-hole!

Um, someone thinks a college student, in his or her free time, is going to provide the professional services described here?

New Concept Start-Up Seeks Interns (Soho Office)


Date: 2010-01-28, 11:38AM EST
Reply to: gigs-yxcqp-1574690818@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


 

February, March & Spring Internship Program Seeking 4 interns; 10-20 hours per week.

Pop Bar, LLC is traditional handcrafted gelato served in a unique way. We are a start-up restaurant and will be opening our first location in mid-April 2010. Our office is based in Soho (5 blocks from NYU).

We offer year-round semester long internships.

The internship is unpaid. Interns will have the opportunity to apply for paid part-time positions at Pop Bar once the internship is completed.

Description of the internship:

The focus of the internship is to assist the founders with tasks associated with the opening of our first Pop Bar location.
Sample tasks include:
• collaborating on PR campaigns
• assist with marketing brochures
• conduct product research
• prepare strategic analysis of competitors
• plan, strategize and conduct off-site sampling
• conduct market research
• managing social networks
• conduct financial modeling
• assisting with manual creation (experience with Excel, Word, PowerPoint, Publisher and Illustrator)

Interns will have continuous interaction with senior level management and the intern will be directly supervised by the founders and director of operations allowing for consistent face-to-face meetings at the top level of the company. This internship is a great training ground for students in business, finance, marketing, human resource management, entrepreneurial studies, English and pre-law.
Qualifications: A strong interest in hospitality, business, customer service and a resourceful mind.

Send a resume and cover letter to: PopBarInterns@gmail.com

Tell us:

1. Why you want to be a part of this exciting new concept?

2. Your perception of italian gelato and how it fits into the American Culture.

3. What are you passionate about?

  • Location: Soho Office
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no pay

   
   

PostingID: 1574690818

Craiglist asshole? You get what you pay for

I’m not quite sure whether I think this one fully qualifies by our normal Craigslist asshole criteria. But a combo “experienced” designer and help desk pro for $15/hour? Please get serious.

Marketing and Design (Maspeth, NY)


Date: 2010-01-28, 2:39PM EST
Reply to: job-sza5z-1575045626@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


 

We are in need of a full time designer / desktop support person. Our organization owns 7 companies and manages 25 different business trades. We are looking for an imaginative person with experience designing business brochures, business cards, web sites, email blasters and forms. When the marketing work slows down this position would double as a “light” IT position providing desktop support for our windows users. The more exp you have the more you make. $15.00 to $20.00 per hour. Full time employees are eligible for paid vacation, paid sick time, 401 K and participation in our medical program. Send us your resume and samples of your work. Include what programs you work with. Candidates must have the ability to work with:

Mac and a PC

Adobe or comparable design tools

Macromedia or comparable

Windows XP and 7

MS Office applications.

We look forward to hearing from you. Remember to send us samples of your work.

  • Location: Maspeth, NY
  • Compensation: 15.00 – 20.00 per hour
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

   
   

PostingID: 1575045626

Revenge of the Craigslist Assholes!

Someone who obviously shares some of my delight at the cheap bastards looking to get free work:

Housecleaning Internship (Everywhere)


Date: 2010-01-15, 9:58AM EST
Reply to: ramlowgarry@aol.com [Errors when replying to ads?]


 

Housecleaning Internship
I hate cleaning, so I’m looking for a highly motivated individual who can hit the ground running.
I have a large two floor apt. on the west side that is just too large for me to clean on my own.
So, I would like to find a student or recent grad; specifically someone, who can engage me in interesting conversation; as I like to talk while you’ll be working. Your duties include, cleaning kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, toilets, washing and putting away dishes, doing the laundry and preparing school lunches for my two boys. You must be able to devote at least 4 full days a week. This is non negotiable. Also, please be white.
Although this is a non paying position, I know a lot of very wealthy people who just might be willing to pay several dollars an hour; if you do a bang up job. Plus I can arrange for school credit, especially if you have Home Ec classes.
Must have own cleaning supplies and a strong desire to satisfy others. I will supply the coffee (Gourmet; so only 2 cups max) and I have an endless supply of Nutter Butter cookies; my kids love them, so feel free to endulge. I’m not in a position to cover transportation but there is a future possiblity of splitting travel expenses.
If you feel you’re a good match then email me asap, as this place is getting filthy.
  • Location: Everywhere
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: no, silly. Its an internship

   
   

PostingID: 1553721833

Craigslist asshole of the week

REAL ESTATE WRITER NEEDED; Great opportunity for emerging writer


Date: 2010-01-08, 2:44PM EST
Reply to: job-mdnue-1543426757@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


A well repected NYC magazine that has been around for over 20 years is seeking someone to write an article on any real estate topic of his or her choice. PLEASE NOTE: there is no pay for the article, however, you will instantly be published in a magazine that gets read by hundreds of thousands of New Yorkers, and you will have the opportunity to get published on a regular basis, which is extremely valuable. If interested, please send an email with relevant experience, a short writing sample, and a real estate topic you might want to write about.

Thank you!

  • Compensation: Unpaid
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!
  • Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

   
   

PostingID: 1543426757

I particularly love that they’re “well repected.”

Craigslist assholes

I’m adding a new category to this blog. I’ve been meaning to do it for ages. It is for assholes advertising for unpaid “interns” to do creative work for free.

I’m not talking about people hiring “interns” at $10 or $15 an hour. Most of these are real, entry-level jobs. But there are a bunch of asshats out there, and they ask in their ads for things like “15 years web experience” (chuckle chuckle), or Creative Suite “pros,” then go on to say, “well, we can’t pay you, but this is a great portfolio-building opportunity.”

I’m hoping to post some of the most egregious “intern” requests regularly, as I continue to scour the Internets for paying work. Some recent examples should suffice to get us started:

Graphic Design / Web Intern (East Village)


Date: 2009-12-05, 11:49AM EST
Reply to: job-ceydu-1496148185@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


 

Television producer looking for a graphic designer with HTML / CSS skills for a really fun project. This project is pitch & pilot for a comedy series for adults featuring puppets for the [adult swim] type crowd. The first four shorts are currently in post-production and will be pitched to networks and branded entertainment partners and be submitted to festivals.

I need someone to create web graphics from existing footage, logo design and web page design. The ideal candidate is comfortable with HTML and CSS and able to prep, slice and post. There are also graphic design needs for the first batch of shorts including title treatments, designing cutaways to computer screens with fake websites, as well as some background design as the footage is shot on green screen.

This is a great opportunity to for the right candidate who wants to gain exposure in the entertainment field. Credit will be given on the website.

Please reply with a link to your portfolio website.

  • Compensation: Unpaid Internship, Credit will be given
  • Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.
  • Please, no phone calls about this job!

PostingID: 1496148185

Wow. This person has actually confused college “credit” with getting a “credit” on his yet-to-exist website. Let me go spend the next six months working on this hot project, eh?

Creative Intern Needed (Chelsea)


Date: 2009-12-04, 5:25PM EST
Reply to: job-ry3px-1495257186@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


 

About ‘mktg’:
Headquartered in New York with offices in Cincinnati, San Francisco, Chicago, and Toronto, ‘mktg’ is among the leading marketing and sales promotion companies in North America. ‘mktg’s platform of core competencies and promotional expertise is supported by US Concepts. With a broad list of blue chip clients across a range of categories and distribution channels, ‘mktg’ is nationally recognized as a best-in-class competitor.
Job Description:
Work closely with the Art Director and Traffic Manager of a very busy event marketing agency with well-known clients.

You will assist the CD in print design layout, illustrations / renderings of events as well as on-going production responsibilities. The right candidate will be creative and detail oriented and will possess a strong work ethic.

You must be a Mac lover, and be completely proficient using Adobe Illustrator and Adobe Photoshop. Basic knowledge of PowerPoint, Indesign, Excel and Word is beneficial.

Some of the responsibilities include:

• Layout of print collateral, such as invitations, ads, program books, POS, collateral materials, event renderings.
• Preparing files for printing (In-depth knowledge of printing procedures and requirements is mandatory)
• Proofreading including possessing excellent grammatical skills
• Researching online photo banks and downloading photography
• Taking direction from Creative Director while working well independently
• Juggling multiple jobs at one time and meeting tight deadline

Intern Requirements:
● Preferably has or is currently pursuing an Undergraduate or Graduate degree
● Must be proficient in Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Internet

Positions Available:
1 unpaid internship

Location: New York, NY
Compensation: Unpaid and/or College Credit

PostingID: 1495257186

Yeah. Sounds like an “intern” to me, eh? One of the “leading marketing and sales promotion companies in North America” needs to have its marketing collateral created by some schmuck for free? I can’t wait!

Fortunately, some folks are starting to get equally pissed off about this, and there is a bit of a Cragislist backlash brewing:

Artist Strike (NYC)


Date: 2009-12-05, 4:32PM EST
Reply to: gigs-zyngd-1496632176@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Artists, Illustrators, Photogs, Graphic designers…I’m posting this to pledge allegiance with all of you. Do not work for free – and more – avoid working for exaggerated low rates or so called internships. If you are a student, there should be more than enough resources at your school to present internship possibilities.

If you have an interest in a project that can’t pay you right away – suggest to the poster that you may be interested in signing on as an equity partner. Meaning you are going into a business arrangement with them that can benefit you somewhere down the line.

If you are really itching to get some new work out there, try a collaboration with some other creative working in a complimentary form – graphics people need photographers, illustrators need zine or small press publishers, etc…

So often I see posters asking for interns, and then go on to offer a JOB description in the body of the post. Legally an internship is supposed to benefit the intern in her or his area of interest. For the business owner, this creates a highly qualified candidate for their particular business. That’s the way it was done for hundred of years, and it works.

Contrary to popular belief, art, expression, and creativity are extremely important. This people that belittle your work with comments like: ” if you are good with ( insert medium here ), it shouldn’t take much time!” Are fucking dreamers, to be frank. If their business is legit and really going places, paying for distinctive quality work will not be a problem, trust.

Best of luck to you all, and hello to the other art and craftspeople posting below me!

PostingID: 1496632176

Internships (Everywhere)


Date: 2009-12-06, 10:42PM EST
Reply to: gigs-gscsm-1498332456@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]


Its remarkable, how artists are perceived as these childlike, carefree souls; free of financial obligations, willing to take any project for free in the hopes that one day we might actually be tossed a bone or two for doing what we live to do, creating art; which apparently has no real world value. Artists apparently inhabit this juvenile fantasy world without families to support, student loans to pay off, groceries to buy, children to support, utilities to pay, and in fact, most of us have families who subsidize our eccentric lifestyles. It seems our abilities are so insignificant in the real world, that we should be grateful for any opportunity; unpaid, tiny stipend, (we’ll pay for materials and buy some beer), just to be able to pursue our irresponsible bohemian lifestyle. Its mind boggling, the number of unpaid internship ads that require very unique and advanced skill sets. Its been stated in the ads; ad nauseam, that these will be wonderful portfolio building opportunities, that could lead to other paying jobs. The harsh reality is that this only perpetuates the idea that there will always be someone available to work for free. Why should they be willing to pay next time if its perceived that there will always be an artist out there willing to do anything to feed their need to be creative, paid or not. In fact every aspect of our society is heavily reliant on art, from the art hanging in innumerable museums, the beautiful architecture around you, to the graphics and illustrations on cereal boxes. Art sells products. Art creates the ambiance in restaurants and churches. Fellow artists, don’t be fooled into believing your time is not as valuable as the plumber. or electrician or the numerous entrepeneurs starting clothing companies who’s success relies on the eye catching art, you provide. Stop taking these freebies, and people will have to start paying a fair wage. The only experience you will receive from doing free work is the experience of getting screwed and wasting your time.
  • Location: Everywhere
  • it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
  • Compensation: fair wages

   
   

PostingID: 1498332456

I’ve really come across some gems; as I come across them in the future, I will share the best in more occasional “Craigslist assholes” posts.